So I started following you on Twitter a little bit ago and have found your tweets amazingly loving and accepting of all people. I am convinced that this is our purpose here on earth. For the better part of the last 2 weeks, I have been feeling a need to reach out to you to tell you my story and offer my hand in supporting your message.
Last year was a transformative year for me. A pessimist would look at 2012 as pretty bad year. Here’s why…
In February of 2012 I left an extremely unhealthy 2 year relationship that was built on codependency and negativity. I was constantly criticized and defeated. To complicate things, she had a child that I had been a father figure to that I absolutely adored. I knew that staying around would eventually hurt him worse than me leaving before he would remember that I even existed.
I began seeing a therapist shortly after that and began the process of individuation and self discovery that I had missed in my late teens. I found my own church outside of the BIC church I had attended off and on with my parents for years. I set some firm boundaries between myself and my Mom to protect myself from her and her addiction to alcohol.
In May I finally accepted myself as a gay man. Shortly thereafter I began to wrestle with the theological implications of such life. I believed in my heart that God was loving and would love me just the same, but “Christians” didn’t usually agree with this assessment. I found it incredibly hard to become part of the church as I didn’t feel like I would be accepted into any of their small groups.
Fast forward a few months and I read the book Torn by Justin Lee which completely flipped my understanding of the purpose of life. If there’s one thing I learned from reading that book is that God wants us to love people as he loved people. This has become a decision filter for everything that comes my way.
Fast forwarding to the end of the year, my Mom became incredibly ill with liver failure and passed away on December 20. We held a beautiful memorial service for her on new years eve.
My apologies for a very long winded story. I’m telling you my story for no other purpose than to show how I see God working through me to guide me to his purpose for me – to help people who need hope. Those that need to see that among what seems like the darkest days, there is hope. Those that are hurting.
As I rang in the new year into 2013, I looked back with immense gratitude for the incredible work that God did in my heart during 2012. That same day I was celebrating the life of my Mom who struggled every single day to feel loved and accepted. She was the most selfless human being I have known.
As my Mom laid on hospice just at the end of her life after a rough day I sat down next to her and asked how she was doing, she responded with five simple words: “Better now that you’re here.” She passed away just a week later and I had these five words tattooed on my inner arm as a constant reminder of her and to love others as deeply as she did.
I read through your Twitter feed and I see people struggling to feel accepted or to see hope that God loves them. The church has done such a terrible job being an example of such a simple principle that I believe is so fundamental. I believe that there is tremendous power in people wrapping there arms around others and loving them.
I’m with you 100% on your message and I would love to learn about what you’re doingand how I can help.
If I can help in any way, please feel free to reach out.